A little-known word I picked up from my father, Dr. Jesus Hidalgo, in our casual chats about how couples found romance or love was the Bicol word “nagmakot.” It is perhaps the newer equivalent of “hook-up” — a colorful use of the word that is meant for kindling wood or building fire. It is a fitting word to recall during the month of February when hearts are ablaze in various degrees of heat from lukewarm to boiling point!
Some excerpts from my mother Choleng’s article below, written sometime in the early 1970’s, give a flavor to how love or its scarcity was viewed half a century ago. The new generation she referred to are the Baby Boomers who are now the grandparents with their own issues to boot. Fortunately, prediction of a population explosion by the German physician and scientist Paul Ehrlich has not happened – in fact there is a shrinking, more of a depopulation pattern in many advanced countries and our own young generation. Not enough to maintain population stability, according to the American political economist Nick Eberstadt! It is now, during Valentine’s and Heart Month to encourage replacement of more than two offsprings per couple. Do not count on immigration to replace your own population nor replace your cheap labor. Make children our luxury items, not just pets! Go Forth and Multiply! MAG-MAKOT PA! Make more babies! Plant more trees, camote and kangkong!
This ‘love-less’ generation by Choleng Hidalgo
Originally published in Naga Times, the local daily, under her byline “My Two Cents’ Worth.”
TALKING about love at this time when everyone’s attention is focused on the turbulence that is going on – rallies. demonstration, hints of martial law and revolutions – is like talking about fair weather in the midst of a raging storm. Yet, February is a month when thoughts of love are in the air, the 14th being St. Valentine’s Day. So, we have an assignment to talk about a woman’s favorite subject: Love:
I lived my youth in generation that lived more leisurely and loved with more sentimentality. I used to go on long afternoon walks up to the outskirts of my hometown with an aunt who was torn between two loves. One quoted poetry to express his love but was rejected because he was a cousin of some sort who pined himself to death. Another, whose love was so deep felt he married her while she was already an invalid, took care of her until she died a year later. Whenever I think of a woman who is loved I always think of that particular aunt of mine.
I used to watch my elder sister in her white dress and pink sash, a ribbon in her hair while she entertained her boyfriend early in the morning in the garden filled with blooming shrubs, kamuning and ‘sinamomo’ while doves flew around them, the air filled with the scent of camia and miliguas. I said, “Love is beautiful and wonderful…” until years later when their love had an unhappy ending. It filled me with bitterness I thought I would never fall in love.
Well, love comes and goes and you can never say when it will hit you. From then on, I had looked at love with a more realistic view. Not anymore With Juliet’s feeling of loneliness “O moon, you inconstant moon”…. Now I look at the moon and think, American astronauts have been there three times now and found it pockmarked with crevices and black rocks. How unromantic!
I watch the new generation gyrating and strumming their guitars, howling incantations I cannot understand. I think back about `my generation with their haranas, love songs and kundimans, singing below vour window. It locked romantic until some prankster drowned their ardor with some midnight shower. Now you see “harana” in the movies which are very unrealistic.
My father was a famous “haranista” in his time and he knew many songs most of which were compiled by my brother, Luis Dato. He had a rich baritone, and I used to hear him sing songs in Bikol like, “Dogñao, dogñao, ave fenis dogñawon mo, nasasakitan an puso co sa pag hadit, an ngaran mo sinasambit, ay neneng.” He sure was a ladies’ man and Mama’s despair.
I observe the youth of today and I wonder whether they are capable of a truly great love or whether it is just hidden by their matter-of-fact flippancy. I do not see anyone around me pining for love at all. Even the old man, his fire has gone out of his eyes. He is more worried about taxes. Well, maybe our trip to Taipei that will perk him up.
What has happened to love nowadays? For one thing all these talks about family planning has put love as science, aided by the pill according to Doctor Ernie Guerrero, by IUD or as discussed by George Dumaguin on TV, by thermometer and the calendar.
Love is no longer the spur of the moment, a sudden inspiration. It is now controlled by a system called family planning. Well, just like everything else in modern times, love must be supervised. Otherwise, according to Councilor Ed Enojado, by the next century there will be “standing room only” us poor earthlings. One square meter per person to move around. Just like Bichara Theater on weekends.
When we say love is no longer a-many-splendored-thing, don’t mind us. It’s just sour grapes for having been liberated from it and having gone thru it like a bad case of influenza, chickenpox or measles. Probably, I am just envious of the young who still have years and years ahead to make love.
Header image shows wilted St. Valentine’s Day roses signifying the decline of a romance (image by Canva).
Contributed by:
TELLY HIDALGO HOW is a retired pediatrician and professor of pharmacology at the University of the Philippines, College of Medicine. Born and raised in Naga City, her parents were Dr. Jesus F Hidalgo, medical practitioner, and Soledad Dato Hidalgo, columnist and writer. She graduated from Colegio de Sta. Isabel, High School in 1965. She completed her medical degree from UP College of Medicine in 1974. She is an Emeritus Professor in UP.