Poems for Marne Kilates

I can say Marne was a friend from the first time we met in the 70s as I was trying to regroup the scattered activists made leaderless by the unrelenting mass arrests of active and potential resistance by the Philippine Constabulary (now defunct) following the general orders under the martial law regime imposed by Marcos senior. He was even then, quiet and unassuming, with an easy grin.

After we all got our stints in jail, some longer, some more unpleasant, even some more than once, we sort of settled into doing what we thought we did better or best. And for Marne, that was creative writing. He was, like me, based for a longer while in Bicol – myself in Naga and he in Legaspi. But when he got to settle in Manila, within reach of the imperial center of the Filipino literati, Marne with his intensity, passion and innate mastery of lyricism, bolted to the heights of Philippine poetry writing. Indeed, he became one of the Poet Laureates of the country, a distinction no Bicolano, to my knowledge, has achieved thus far.  

Many times, we were an uragon trio with Conrad de Quiros, and me basking in reflected starlight. We were drinkers, the lot of us, from gin, to rum, to beer and finally to wine when our kidneys started complaining. We also had a common ailment – gout. It was the scourge that I am certain led to Conrad’s goodbye and Marne’s mabalos.

Oh well, as Homer is wont to say in The Iliad: “No one can hurry me down to Hades before my time, but if a man’s hour is come, be he brave or be he coward, there is no escape for him…”

And as Marne puts it, “Ganoon talaga.”

The header picture was the FB post image used by Marne Kilates with his poem “Lines Written by the Edge of the Precipice,” posted on April 21, 2022 (photography: George Tapan)

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GANOON TALAGA

(Sabi ni Marne kay Jun R)

Ganoon talaga, iyan ang sinabi mo
Nakangiti ka pa nga, nakahiga sa kwarto
Na kontrolado ng mga nars at doktor
At mga makina na nakalaylay ang mga kable 
Habang mga barkada ay
Nangangamusta sa lagay mo

Ganoon talaga, galing yan sa bibig mo 
Bago ka linatag sa table at hiniwa 
Para tanggalin ang mga nana sa impeksiyon 
Na nagbigay sa iyo na grabeng sakit
Gabi na nga pero hindi pa madilim
at nagbibiruan pa ang barkada

Ganoon talaga, iyan ang naalala ko pa rin
Nag Hi ka pa sa telepono bago
Pinasok ka sa ICU pasiguro lang and sabi
Para makapahinga ka nang lubos
Tatlong oras lamang na operasyon 
Para linisin ang lahat na mga sugat mo!

Ganoon talaga, isip isip ko
Nag flat line ka alas kwatro ng umaga
Nagpunuang mga nakaputi sa kwarto nagrevive
Sabi swerte raw yaong kadilimang oras 
At kakaunti pang maykaramdaman 
ang nangungulit sa kalagayan nila

Ganoon talaga, bago ang kadiliman 
Bago pinatawag yung mga anak mo sa States
Bago nangailangan na ng alalay ang kabiyak mo 
Bago nung mga desisyon sa ano-anung gagawin
Bago sumabog ang dibdib ko –

Kung ganoon talaga, Marne, bakit umiiyak ang langit!
Bakit umuungol ang panahon! Bakit mabigat ang puso! 

- junio ragragio

TO MARNE’S FRIEND

It is said your tears almost flooded the room 
(Someone thought lucky Marne’s dust was not on the floor) 
You slid in the morning before anyone came
Except his one who thought you would sneak in early
But she was surprised nevertheless into unmoving
At the long rush of tears and heaves of heart
It would have surprised many as well
Since you would not visit at the hospital
They said you were ill of failure to fulfill a promise
To move a mountain beyond the pale of greed 
Perhaps spare the country a calamity 
But I knew better.  You were always there
In the time you were schoolmates 
To late nights and early morning stupor
Family friends forge fucks failing falling
Home heart hearth heavens healing health 
And I knew
                      you knew 
                                          well before
And it broke your heart

- junio ragragio