I’ve come across a few books with such titles as “Growing Old Is Not For Sissies” and “Golden Years My Ass.” Now I finally understand what those titles mean.

We who exalt ourselves in youth shall be humbled later in life.

This is the unwritten law in the life of every man or woman, who reaches the age 60 and beyond. Wealthy or poor, privileged or underprivileged, beautiful or ugly, celebrity or unknown, sooner or later we will inevitably be subjected to a medical crucible where the most private parts of the body are scrutinized, and nothing can be hidden from the scrutiny of medical professionals and operators of diagnostic instruments. Not just one time but many times.

Being made to take off one’s clothes, including underwear, in the presence of an assistant or a nurse can be the most un-dignifying act that any individual is asked to do specially one who has always guarded against being seen naked. Nothing is off-limits as you get poked, touched and groped, with your silent acquiescence.

Have you undergone a hemorrhoid operation? Did you go through a procedure called barium enema? Have you bent over for a proctoscopy? Have you had an endoscopy or colonoscopy? Or mammography? How about a 2-D echography? Or ultrasonography of your heart, kidneys, bladder, pancreas, and other internal organs? Has a urinary catheter ever been inserted into your urethra?

If you have undergone this experience, then welcome to the Club of the Extremely Shamed and Humiliated. It’s a standard rite of passage for old men and women alike as we get to the point of reckoning, confronting an assortment of health issues.  It’s the price we pay for an extended lease on the life we now enjoy. Until the next health issue crops up.

No wonder, many old folks have to be dragged to the hospital, kicking and screaming in protest. Forced to see a doctor, some old timers withhold information because it will lead to tests and God forbid, hospitalization.

For them, there’s nothing hospitable about a hospital. It’s not a place of healing, but a torture chamber, where severe mental or physical suffering is inflicted.

There are old folks who are “delicate” or modest. A lot of them are old ladies and even men who don’t like exposing their bodies to strange people – even in an emergency. Imagine how it feels for a “never been touched” spinster, totally naked underneath a flimsy hospital gown, to have her body hair shaved in a brightly lighted room before an operation. 

Don’t laugh but there are those who are so self-conscious and proper that they take a shower first before going to a hospital. One woman has been overheard to say that she needs to wear a clean good underwear every day in case of an accident and she needs to be rushed to a hospital.

But the feeling can be mutual. Medical people, too, experience embarrassment at encountering the variety of “shocking” “nauseating” and “shameful” stuff exposed in the course of these medical procedures. They may feign to be quite nonchalant or blasé about the handling of naked old patients, but have you listened to them talk to each other, away from their patients? Indeed no one is a hero or celebrity to a nurse or doctor behind the closed doors or curtains of an examination clinic.

It makes me wonder why my friends brag about their sons and daughters who are into medicine or nursing. It’s a thankless job from my point of view. It’s not fun seeing and handling sagging flatulent bodies in varying degrees of entropy. It’s not easy to touch the personal parts of bodies of total strangers – and not throw up sometimes. You need to have special nerves to work on people and do intimate things to them without acting nervous or embarrassed. How do you deal with old patients who are terrified of having anyone do ‘things’ to their bodies?

Maybe we—healthcare professionals and patients– should start a serious and realistic conversation on the management of shame and humiliation in medical encounters and practices. Is there a way we can openly and honestly talk about these issues to help diminish the shame experience for both patients and medical professionals?

Perhaps the most ironic thing about these dehumanizing medical procedures is the fact.

we agree to these procedures and so they are not being done against our will.

As one of my friends colorfully described the diagnostic procedure for his prostate problem: ‘it’s like molestation but with consent.”

As we stand or lie there naked and helpless, the least we can expect is greater sensitivity to the privacy of the body during medical procedures and more respectful doctor/nurse-patient interactions.

Thus, is it too much to ask healthcare professionals to be more considerate, to be mindful that patients are feeling, breathing people – they were before they came in to have a procedure and they are still people while they are having a medical procedure.

Maybe they should ask: “what if I was being asked to bend over so a finger can be inserted up my anus? What if I am the one lying on this table – how would I want someone to treat me?”

Actually, that’s the point of the film “The Doctor” with William Hurt playing the role of an arrogant, unsympathetic cancer specialist who one day is diagnosed with cancer. In a reversal of roles, he becomes the patient experiencing the callous ways of his fellow medical professionals. After seeing life from a patient’s perspective, he vows to treat his patients with more kindness and compassion if he survives.

It has been established in some studies that “undignified care can have unfavorable impact on the patient’s recovery such as leading to depression and loss of will to live.”

This is why even as we give importance to enhancing the quality of health care, we also must promote a culture of respect in our healthcare world.

Can old folks expect a little more dignity in care, which simply means being treated in a way that is respectful of them and as valued individuals? Which means being sensitive about modesty and privacy or not leaving them unattended or ignored. Which means not making jokes about the patient even if you think they are out of earshot. Which means answering the patient honestly and taking time to listen to his or her concerns.

We know at this period in our lives, we seniors have no choice but to bear the unbearable indignities of medical treatment. At least help us make it through as gently as possible, so we can keep the little self-respect that we still have.

Featured post image: Business Mirror

About the Author:

NICK TAYAG is a multi-media writer and communications specialist. His special focus is scriptwriting for audio visual presentations and documentary videos, creative conceptualization and writing think pieces. Now in his early 70s, he is the Creative Consultant of a digital production and event management outfit. He also writes a regular column for the Business Mirror called “My Sixty Zen’s Worth” which comes out every Saturday. His most recent script for a bio documentary on Filipino master filmmaker Gerardo “Manong” de Leon entitled “Salamat sa Alaala,” was nominated for best documentary in the 2016 URIAN awards. As an advertising copywriter in the 1990s, he won recognition from the Creative Guild of the Philippines and the Public Relations Society of the Philippines for ads he wrote for corporate clients. He also won a UNICEF-PPI Award for Outstanding Story On Children. He is presently working on a book on creative conceptualization as well as inspirational booklets.

Nick Tayag’s columns “My Sixty-Zen’s Worth” are published in Business Mirror… https://businessmirror.com.ph/author/nicktayag/