By MARINEL DE JESUS
Trust me. As a lawyer, I resisted the idea of a higher being until I walked alone in the wilderness in 21 countries. The universe taught me then that I was as equally as powerful of a creator as the universe; hence, since then I found myself playing with energies to see how far it will take me while fully submitting myself to become its tool to serve others.
While all these transformations added so much joy in my life replacing the hurt I felt as a child abused by my mother, the greatest blessing that the universe has gifted me is this:
The ability to hope again that there is love and peace absent fear. My mother gifted me with clarity and courage which will carry me through the rest of my life. But I often wonder if she herself found clarity, courage, love and peace. In our respective dimensions, have we managed to finally once and for all found parallels and alignment with each other?
Last Saturday, I seemingly found my answers. Through the medium, I asked if my mom had a message for me. My mom wanted me to know that she’s been with me all this time, that I should be okay finally with being happy, that I should smell the flowers, and that I should enjoy the moment and not worry about what’s next. She for the first time acknowledged that a decision I made in my life is what she would deem as an “achievement.” That’s my decision to become a mountain nomad and live my life authentically.
These messages were all enlightening and warm-hearted but was this really my mother speaking? In the midst of the channeling of my mother’s spirit, the medium insisted repeatedly that my mother keeps putting a flower petal behind my ear and placing flowers around me. I knew my mom loved flowers so it makes sense that she would shower me with flower petals. But her putting a flower petal behind my ear didn’t resonate in any shape or form. There was no memory of that happening when she was still here with us.
The session ended and the medium yet again insisted that my mom really wanted to communicate with me about her placing a flower petal behind my ear. Right in that moment was when I finally understood what it meant. Just a few minutes before arriving at this channeling session, I was on a local bus alone. Sitting on the bus en route to the session, I thought about attending this music event in Urubamba. I had a quiet conversation with myself about what I’d want to wear and thought it would be nice to wear this sarong type of dress that I bought years ago in Asia. And then, I thought to myself, “Well, if I wear that, it would be nice to add a touch of flower to my hair – placing it behind my ear.”
And at that moment, I applauded my mom’s will to let me know that it was truly her speaking. I guess she never forgot that her daughter was once a prosecutor, always needing “proof” in order to believe, when I should have believed what my heart has been telling me from the start – that she never left me. My mom was with me. My mom is always with me. She hears my thoughts, sees my life, and believes in the love and peace that I have been searching for all my life. She is the mom now that I never had.
On the bus back to Urubamba, I couldn’t help but feel sadness. The woman that mattered the most in my life, I have managed to run away from, all because I was not strong enough to withstand the toxicity of our relationship, resulting in my solo quest for finding the meaning of love on my own all my life. And now, in her energy form within the dimension she now resides, she presents herself as the loving, accepting, peaceful and courageous woman that I have always hoped she would be and that I would become. My heart ached as I was reminded of the wasted chance we had. I was the only daughter she could ever have and she was the only mother that could ever be for me, and yet, fate did not lead us like most mothers and daughters to demonstrate our love for each other in this physical world.
But on the positive side of this revelation, my mother and I simultaneously experienced transformations at the time of her death where we both arrived at our true selves. Through the medium, my mom communicated that her transition into the spirit world was akin to a pearl inside an oyster. My mom referred to herself as a pearl, describing her transformation from experiencing a hard and challenging life as a human being into finding herself sparkling, shiny and renewed. I couldn’t deny the parallels between our respective transformations as I feel exactly the same – giving myself permission to leave behind the trauma of child abuse and starting the second act of my life have rendered me feeling shiny, sparkling and renewed. The revelation that my mom and I went through the same journey together and continue to do so from here on to achieve oneness with ourselves was more than I have ever wanted. And in that sense, no time or chance was ever wasted between us.
About the author Marinel M. De Jesus: From a Lawyer to a Mountain Nomad: Brown Gal Trekker – she is a former civil rights attorney in Washington, DC who practiced law for 15 years and discovered at that time her passion for mountain trekking. In 2017, she left her legal career and life in the U.S. completely to pursue a life of a global mountain nomad.
Founder & CEO, Brown Gal Trekker and Equity Global Treks; Brand Ambassador, Osprey Packs; Herald, The Transformational Travel Council; Co-Founder, Khusvegi English & Nomadic Culture Camp, Western Mongolia Altai Mountains; Writer/Director/Producer, We Are Nomads; Volunteer English Teacher to children of Eagle Hunters, Sagsaï, Bayan-Olgiy, Mongolia; Brand Ambassador, KÜHL; Board Member & Chair of JEDI Committee, American Hiking Society; Founder & Volunteer, The Porter Voice Collective; Brand Ambassador, AKU Trekking & Outdoor Footwear; Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Advisor, The Points Guy; Writer/Director/Producer at KM 82; former Brand Ambassador, Marmot; former Brand Ambassador, Thru Hike Syndicate. Masters in Social Work, University of Washington; Juris Doctor, University of Washington School of Law; Bachelor of Social Work, University of Washington; Bachelor of Arts, American Ethnic Studies, University of Washington.
Follow Marinel on: https://www.browngaltrekker.com/who-is-brown-gal